My day hasn't started out the greatest. I clenched my jaw all night last night and didn't wear my mouth guard. Stupid decision NUMBER 1! I woke up with a monster of a headache to my dog moving licking incessantly...........I was so annoyed to wake up this way and just wanted her to stop. I yelled "Taffy stop" and rolled back over to try and fall asleep. She didn't STOP! UGH, I am really annoyed now.......I pushed her on her back with my foot and said "STOP". Thinking......"Taffy always listens to me, why isn't she st oping". I pull back my covers in a very dramatic annoyed fashion to find my poor Taffy is having a seizure. Wow I am the biggest jerk EVER! Stupid decision number 2!
Lets move on to the endless worry............. I hate interviews! I get so uncomfortable, and nervous, and fidgety, and weird, and the list goes on and on! My adoption interviews start today.......I believe we have 3. The first one is a family interview, the next is individual and I am not sure about the 3rd one. Yes we have been through all this before with Silas, and I hated it just as much that time! I was excited and nervous when it came time to meet my birth family and getting to know them. but meeting with a case worker and being questioned on everything that has ever happened in your life makes me feel like I am naked at church. LOL. Ugh! Anyway I know that it will be fine, life will go on. However it is making me feel a bit emotional, I cried pretty hard last night about it. What if they don't like me? This case worker has the power to say no you can't adopt (I know that won't happen). I just hate knowing that such an important thing to me is controlled by someone else! I HATE IT! I know the adoption process will be an amazing journey, but............ I will still worry about the whole process till I have a sweet little baby in my arms and have gone to the courthouse and the temple.
One more thing. I have a client that believes that fertility medicine can make a person crazy. I really haven't felt quite like myself yet after the treatments. I know that I am not crazy and that the meds don't do that............ but every time I cry I think, is that medicine fully out of me? I HATE the hormone treatments and I am so glad to be done with them. Some of you may think why I go through so much to get a baby, heck sometimes I wonder why. However, every time I look at my Silas I know that it was worth going through so much more to have him as my son. I know we are suppose to have another child. So bring it on! I can take......i might just need to have a few more nights of crying about it.
How was your day?
PS Tammy BROOD feel free to leave a comment :)
5 comments:
Sorry you are stressed out right now. I would be the same way. Any kind of interview is the worst.
Good luck today. I'm sure you will do great! And thanks for the update, I was wondering how things were going.
Wish I could have talked to you a little more today at lunch): Sorry to hear about all of the stress. I have lavender oil if you need to feel "zen"! I will keep praying for you and I KNOW everything will work out great. Your family is amazing.
Love Ya,
Heather
Emily. I was just thinking of you today while watching this story about a couple who was finally able to adopt after 13 years. It was hard not to cry. I know you two are wonderful parents, hope so much that this process goes as smoothly as possible. You are strong, and committed :)
I also hope Taffy is okay :( poor girl.
I know why you go through so much to have a baby! They are the coolest little things in the world. The mind and stress is a very powerful thing and if you can create the perception that you are having problems when you really are not. Go to a Yoga class and really concentrate on letting your stress go! It will help. ;) Take care!!!
I am so happy for you! I can't imagine a more perfect choice! You are an amazing lady! :)
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