There are moments in life that seem to be planned or maybe ...........an answer to someones prayer.
I have experienced quite a few moments lately that have left the strongest impression on me.
I want to share one of those moments with you.......if you have the time.
There are people that find open adoptions inspiring, others find it ridiculous. Some question if it is right for the children, sometimes I have wondered myself.
Ethan and I were at olive garden eating lunch a couple days ago. I pulled Samara out of her car seat to go change her diaper. A near by table full of four women went nuts at the sight of Samara. I'm not sure why but I felt slightly annoyed and protective by how excited they were by my daughter and rushed off to change her diaper. When I came back my sweet husband told me I was rude to the women and that I should have showed Samara off a little "this is Samara" " she is 1 week old". I knew Ethan was right and I felt terrible. When did I become such a grumpy unfriendly person I thought. I sat there eating the whole time feeling bad that I wasn't friendly, I tried to reason with myself that it didn't really matter........but somehow I knew it did.
Finally as the women were getting ready to leave I said"excuse me". "my husband said I was being rude earlier, I didn't mean to be. I was just hungry". The Women seemed fine and were just excited to talk to us. They asked to see Samara again. I uncovered Samara and they all seemed to love her as if she was theirs. One of the women there said it was her granddaughter's birthday. Then the youngest one said yes my daughter will be one today. I decided I better ask about this daughter that they seemed so excited about. I found it strange that she wasn't with them since it was her 1st birthday. I asked what the plans were for the little girl's 1st birthday. The youngest girl looked at me with the saddest eyes and said "she doesn't live here, she lives in Colorado I placed her for adoption when she was born".(Her family seemed quite shocked that she said that to us. I learned later that she NEVER talks about it.)
I almost started crying as soon as she said that. I quickly told her how we adopted our children and how amazing adoption is. The young girl told me she has no contact with her adoptive family or child I felt so bad for this wounded girl who seemed to be wondering if she had even made the right decision to place her daughter for adoption. I knew right then and there that open adoptions are the BEST for everyone and felt so much peace inside that we have opened our lives to our beautiful birth mothers. My heart broke for this young girl and her family. I am pretty sure they were there celebrating this little girls 1st birthday. They had one picture of her that they showed to me. The longing that they had for this little girl broke my heart.
I am so grateful for this seemingly insignificant interaction. I think we both needed to meet each other that day. Though some of you may not understand what the big deal is, I can assure you we were meant to talk to each other if nothing else to see the other side . So both parties could have a greater understanding.
Laken and Chelsea will always be the mother I couldn't be, for that I am forever grateful! I love my children. I love my birth moms. They are 4 miracles in my life!
The young girl asked to hold Samara and of course I let her. I couldn't say no. I can't imagine what it must be like to give away my child out of love so they could have something more than I could give them. What a sacrifice! My heart ached for this child holding a child. I talked to her about reaching out for help and her family agreed she needed to meet with other girls that had been through the same things in life. Ethan and I walked away from that experience feeling happy that we had the strength to not only love our children but also thier birth families.
8 comments:
Thank you for sharing that encounter ... I hope that young girl found some comfort that day in holding Samara and that her little girl had a wonderful first birthday.
Emily,
What a great experience you were able to have. You have touched so many lives through this process and it has been an amazing event. I was helping in Silas' primary class today and he was so excited to get up and tell all the kids in his class about his new sister who came from Laken's tummy, but now his mom is Samara's and his mom.
It was so cute and I wanted to just squeeze him and give him a big hug for you!
Love you tons,
Heather
As always, a big thank you! What an incredible experience. Sharing with us makes it even more inspiring. Thanks for being who you are.
wow. i don't know what else to say. my chest is tight and my eyes blurry... what a beautiful story.
Thanks for that little story, Em. I always love reading your blog. You are such an inspiring and beautiful person :) Hope to see you soon!
Isn't it just Incredible the places that we find ourselves in at times? This was an amazing story Emily and you were meant to be there that day, as were the women to meet you.
That story brought tears to my eyes too. I love when you can clearly see God orchestrating the moment. Adoption is really beautiful and I think it is wonderful that there are people like you who choose to share your babies lives with their birth families. The internet makes it easy too. It seems the right thing to do if the birth mother wishes for it.
I loved this story Emily. Thank you for sharing. Although we will probably never see Trey's birth mom, we see his foster family on a regular basis. I consider them his "birth family". Some people find it confusing and others love our relationship. One of the best things we did was attend a FSA training on "openness". When the spirit tells you this child is meant to be in your home... the more people that want to love them and be a part of their life, the better... or at least that is what I have come to know. And if those people are their birth parents, then that's wonderful. It's still hard though to put it all together because we are human. I've loved seeing your updates on Facebook and your blog of your new family of 4. It's all a blessing and a challenge! Love you girl!
Post a Comment